Topics: 4 Things I Learned from the Worst Online Dating Profile Ever

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As a child of the Internet and confirmed weirdo, imagine my relief when they finally took that last bastion of in-person awkwardness -- dating -- to my laptop instead. I've been using one of the major dating sites, OkCupid, on and off for about five years now. While it has its perks, being a woman on a dating site means immersing yourself in a disgusting cesspool of exposed nerves, unfiltered testosterone, and daily propositions to engage in sex acts so horrifying, I hadn't even heard of them before, and I'm from the Internet.

I got the feeling that a lot of men on that site would message literally any woman who had a profile, but the optimist in me wanted to believe that there was a limit. Maybe there was a woman so awful, so toxic, so irredeemably unlikeable that no one would message her, or if they did, at least they would realize they never, ever wanted to meet her. So I made the OkCupid profile of the Worst Woman on Earth, hoping to prove that there exists an online dating profile so loathsome that no man would message it.

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I’m pretty sure the pre-sale will be on the 11th. And the dates are usually announced a week before that.

1. ) uhhhhhh idk I"m pretty easy to please! I like stay-in dates a lot though, any date where cuddling is involved

Dates with be the best ones

Different states have different cut off dates. Pretty sure he was born in VA tho

It’s just a few dates for now lol but he’s a pretty sweet guy

Not sure. They announce the dates pretty before hand to give you enough time to plan.

I don"t believe in dates it pretty Fuck up once think about

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And usually July is pretty safe but Gophercon was on my dates a couple years ago. It"s almost impossible to avoid even events on your radar.

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Screamin" is pretty mild compared to the end of our dates. Cough.

Plus some pretty great friends.!.! It sucls not getting to hang 24/7 but if ya girl gets this car its roadtrips daydl dates.!

Mad bc I"m pretty sure I"ve taken you on plenty of dates but whatever. We"re over anyways

Also I"m the kind of person who remembers the dates for everything pretty much.