Topics: How do I tell my parents im dating an older guy?
I receive a lot of emails from people who are in a relationship with an adult child of alcoholics. They are trying to understand the person they love, or are trying to love, but they don’t know how to decipher the code of adult children of alcoholics.
I consider an “adult child” someone who was raised by child-like parents, insecure, needy, narcissistic parents; parents who were unable to assist their children in forming their own, independent sense of self during childhood. Rather than nurturing their child’s sense of self, these parents used their child to attempt to uplift their own vulnerable ego. Here are our issues as described by the experts.
As the years go on, the baby raised in a stressful, inconsistent home environment develops a battle-ready Fight or Flight response, does not develop the natural ability to trust, and thrives on chaos simply because it’s so familiar. When the child’s parent is alcoholic and self-centered, the child never gets help processing their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences so they learn to ignore themselves and focus on the needs of others instead, as they were trained to do.